1 00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:02,327 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:02,430 --> 00:00:03,708 [ Crow caws ] 3 00:00:04,098 --> 00:00:05,665 Frankie: Thanksgiving-- 4 00:00:05,768 --> 00:00:07,985 the early settlers discovering America, 5 00:00:08,104 --> 00:00:10,523 the pilgrims and Indians coming together, 6 00:00:10,626 --> 00:00:12,867 a celebration of the American spirit. 7 00:00:12,996 --> 00:00:14,802 Or it used to be. 8 00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:18,095 Now it's just a pit stop on the racetrack to Christmas. 9 00:00:18,571 --> 00:00:20,169 [ Gasps ] There she is. 10 00:00:20,336 --> 00:00:21,751 Ready for some midnight madness? 11 00:00:21,837 --> 00:00:22,765 So ready. 12 00:00:22,886 --> 00:00:24,082 Not to give anything away, 13 00:00:24,172 --> 00:00:26,839 but since I have a job now and some potato money to burn, 14 00:00:26,918 --> 00:00:28,714 some people are gonna be getting 15 00:00:28,807 --> 00:00:31,126 some pretty great presents this year. 16 00:00:31,279 --> 00:00:33,229 - Hmm. Axl: - Let me help you with that, mom. 17 00:00:33,306 --> 00:00:34,978 - Mm. Mike: - You really want to go shopping 18 00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:36,367 the night before Thanksgiving? 19 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:37,497 No choice, Mike. 20 00:00:37,607 --> 00:00:38,640 The Pioneer Galaxy Mall 21 00:00:38,714 --> 00:00:40,366 has moved Black Friday up to Wednesday. 22 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:42,354 Tonight, everything is 60% off. 23 00:00:42,437 --> 00:00:44,262 We wait till Friday, it's only 30% off. 24 00:00:44,343 --> 00:00:46,803 I keep talking to you, it's gonna cost me another 10%. 25 00:00:46,907 --> 00:00:48,484 I can reach that for you, mom. 26 00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:49,662 Oh, thanks. 27 00:00:49,870 --> 00:00:51,709 Besides, Thanksgiving's not a big deal this year. 28 00:00:51,795 --> 00:00:52,614 I got it covered. 29 00:00:52,713 --> 00:00:54,741 Your dad and Rusty are not gonna be here. 30 00:00:54,850 --> 00:00:58,143 Aunt Edie's in Branson. There's no Marines to offend. 31 00:00:58,223 --> 00:00:59,783 It's just the five of us and my parents. 32 00:00:59,879 --> 00:01:01,703 Oh, by the way, you got to go pick up my parents. 33 00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:02,630 What? 34 00:01:02,737 --> 00:01:04,369 [ Sighs ] My mom's got that foot thing again, 35 00:01:04,456 --> 00:01:07,133 and my dad has decided he's no longer fit to drive. 36 00:01:08,395 --> 00:01:09,562 Well, he isn't. 37 00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:11,226 Well, I know, but give it a shot. 38 00:01:11,395 --> 00:01:13,422 She'll steer. He'll step on the gas. 39 00:01:13,536 --> 00:01:14,967 Let's be creative about this. 40 00:01:15,055 --> 00:01:16,530 They're only going 10 miles an hour, anyway. 41 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,026 - Mike. - What? 42 00:01:18,158 --> 00:01:19,558 He can't just decide this. 43 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,200 He's supposed to have a couple wrecks. 44 00:01:21,297 --> 00:01:22,907 You know, back into a supermarket, 45 00:01:23,030 --> 00:01:25,158 and then we have a family meeting, and we take his keys. 46 00:01:25,267 --> 00:01:26,368 That's how it's done. 47 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:27,840 I'll pick him up. 48 00:01:28,139 --> 00:01:29,104 Really? 49 00:01:29,197 --> 00:01:30,908 Sure, yeah. No prob. 50 00:01:31,119 --> 00:01:33,604 Oh. Okay. 51 00:01:34,379 --> 00:01:36,163 Brick: Uh, I see stuffing. 52 00:01:36,238 --> 00:01:37,648 I see potatoes. 53 00:01:37,771 --> 00:01:40,100 I don't see any lime jello salad. 54 00:01:40,196 --> 00:01:42,035 You said you were gonna make me lime jello salad. 55 00:01:42,154 --> 00:01:43,542 When did I say that? 56 00:01:45,990 --> 00:01:49,018 Mom, will you make me a lime jello salad? 57 00:01:49,161 --> 00:01:51,309 I'm busy, Brick. I'll make it some other time. 58 00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:53,593 - When? - Talk to me in 10 years. 59 00:01:54,210 --> 00:01:55,853 Well, it's been 10 years. 60 00:01:55,955 --> 00:01:57,608 Seriously, Brick? Are you kidding me? 61 00:01:57,764 --> 00:02:00,467 You've been waiting for lime jello salad for 10 years? 62 00:02:00,569 --> 00:02:02,512 Then you see the unfairness of the situation. 63 00:02:02,597 --> 00:02:05,234 Ugh. Fine. I'll make it tomorrow. 64 00:02:05,348 --> 00:02:06,488 Okay, Sue, 65 00:02:06,574 --> 00:02:08,830 let's grab your can of potato money and hit it! 66 00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:10,096 Yeah! 67 00:02:10,626 --> 00:02:13,811 Oh, shoot. I forgot to walk Colin Firth. 68 00:02:13,914 --> 00:02:14,862 I'll do it. 69 00:02:14,945 --> 00:02:16,726 Got to go take the garbage out anyway, so... 70 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,818 - Okay. - Yeah. 71 00:02:19,188 --> 00:02:21,665 [ Dog barking in distance ] 72 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:24,920 "Let me help you with that, mom. 73 00:02:25,050 --> 00:02:26,711 Let me reach that for you, mom"? 74 00:02:26,853 --> 00:02:28,653 What are you up to, Axl? What's your game? 75 00:02:28,799 --> 00:02:30,891 Okay, look-- I haven't exactly told them 76 00:02:30,973 --> 00:02:32,605 I had to drop three classes yet, so... 77 00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:33,669 [ Clicks tongue ] 78 00:02:33,764 --> 00:02:36,176 - Oh, Axl, Axl, Axl. - What? 79 00:02:36,309 --> 00:02:38,093 You can't just come out and tell them something like this. 80 00:02:38,186 --> 00:02:39,315 You got to lay the groundwork. 81 00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,359 Otherwise, they'll wig out and try to parent you, 82 00:02:41,438 --> 00:02:43,309 so here's what's gonna happen. 83 00:02:43,447 --> 00:02:45,480 I drive up to grandma and grandpa's house. 84 00:02:45,584 --> 00:02:48,265 Then on the drive home, I get them on my side. 85 00:02:48,396 --> 00:02:49,963 Old people have more perspective. 86 00:02:50,049 --> 00:02:51,734 They don't get all worked up about stuff like this. 87 00:02:51,836 --> 00:02:53,530 So I tell them. They tell mom and dad. 88 00:02:53,637 --> 00:02:55,525 And if mom flips out, they remind her of some story 89 00:02:55,605 --> 00:02:57,060 of how she screwed up when she was my age 90 00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:58,265 and she turned out okay. 91 00:02:58,369 --> 00:02:59,288 Mom and dad will soften, 92 00:02:59,382 --> 00:03:01,491 grandma will kiss me on the top of my head, and boom. 93 00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:02,824 Done. 94 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,563 - You seem pretty confident. - Mm. 95 00:03:04,665 --> 00:03:05,802 I was confident 10 years ago 96 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,908 mom would make me a lime jello salad. 97 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,330 All I'm saying. 98 00:03:09,609 --> 00:03:10,998 Yeah. [ Clears throat ] 99 00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:13,478 So, let me get this straight. 100 00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:17,388 You can check your blood at home and then just call it in 101 00:03:17,469 --> 00:03:19,548 and get all the information online? 102 00:03:19,624 --> 00:03:21,310 Yeah, I can see-- I can see if my blood's too thick, 103 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:24,218 my blood's too thin, the size of my blood particles... 104 00:03:24,306 --> 00:03:25,766 - Wow. - ...make sure they're fluffy. 105 00:03:25,865 --> 00:03:27,973 - Yeah. - You want your blood particles fluffy. 106 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:30,130 He doesn't want to hear about your blood particles. 107 00:03:30,245 --> 00:03:32,375 No, I find it fascinating. 108 00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:34,941 I also love this article you clipped out of the paper for me 109 00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:37,383 about dorm organization, grandma. 110 00:03:37,464 --> 00:03:38,854 So many helpful hints. 111 00:03:38,930 --> 00:03:41,282 Oh. Organization is so important. 112 00:03:41,408 --> 00:03:43,185 I've been packing for our cruise, 113 00:03:43,282 --> 00:03:45,167 and they only let us have four bags. 114 00:03:45,272 --> 00:03:46,039 For God's sakes, 115 00:03:46,135 --> 00:03:48,686 he doesn't want to hear about our stupid cruise! 116 00:03:48,772 --> 00:03:51,989 Oh, and he was so riveted by your fluffy-particle story, 117 00:03:52,075 --> 00:03:54,503 his eyes practically rolled right up in his head. 118 00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:55,717 Oh, no. No. 119 00:03:55,796 --> 00:03:57,905 I find all the things both of you say 120 00:03:58,026 --> 00:03:59,642 very interesting. 121 00:03:59,729 --> 00:04:01,431 [ Chuckles ] So, uh... 122 00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:02,940 [ Clears throat ] Something going on with me. 123 00:04:03,554 --> 00:04:04,837 [ Chuckles ] Crazy story. 124 00:04:05,055 --> 00:04:08,283 I was failing three of my four courses, 125 00:04:08,371 --> 00:04:10,463 and I had to drop them, so now I only have one. 126 00:04:10,579 --> 00:04:11,571 [ Chuckles ] 127 00:04:11,676 --> 00:04:14,170 Now, I'm sure you guys have the life perspective 128 00:04:14,269 --> 00:04:16,145 to understand that, in the scheme of things, 129 00:04:16,254 --> 00:04:18,313 it's not really a big deal, 130 00:04:18,416 --> 00:04:19,790 and you probably have a similar story 131 00:04:19,879 --> 00:04:22,392 about something my mom did when she was my age. 132 00:04:22,991 --> 00:04:25,322 You dumb son of a bitch. 133 00:04:25,457 --> 00:04:30,547 Oh, my God. Axl, this is a disaster. 134 00:04:30,628 --> 00:04:32,525 - What were you thinking? - He wasn't thinking. 135 00:04:32,613 --> 00:04:34,196 That's why he's down to one class. 136 00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,471 In retrospect, 137 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,170 Axl wished he hadn't told them in the first five minutes 138 00:04:38,247 --> 00:04:40,252 of what turned into the longest three-hour car ride 139 00:04:40,335 --> 00:04:41,512 of his life. 140 00:04:41,592 --> 00:04:43,027 I mean, I can't believe it. 141 00:04:43,107 --> 00:04:44,568 Hit him again. 142 00:04:44,824 --> 00:04:47,267 [ Door opens ] Hey. How did it go? 143 00:04:47,649 --> 00:04:48,923 Good. So good. 144 00:04:49,033 --> 00:04:50,546 We got really great stuff. Didn't we, Sue? 145 00:04:50,684 --> 00:04:52,092 Yep. 146 00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:53,510 Uh, really great. 147 00:04:53,784 --> 00:04:54,797 It'll be a good Christmas 148 00:04:54,891 --> 00:04:57,075 and so on and so forth and what have you. 149 00:04:57,221 --> 00:04:59,150 I have to go put this stuff away now. 150 00:05:01,557 --> 00:05:02,481 What's up with her? 151 00:05:02,588 --> 00:05:05,014 Oh, who knows? She's 16. Could be anything. 152 00:05:05,121 --> 00:05:06,927 Boys, hormones, Justin Bieber did something. 153 00:05:07,079 --> 00:05:08,975 [ Chuckles ] So, what have you been up to? 154 00:05:09,119 --> 00:05:11,233 Happy Thanksgiving! 155 00:05:11,318 --> 00:05:12,420 - Hi! - Happy Thanksgiving! 156 00:05:12,534 --> 00:05:13,524 - Oh! - Mwah! 157 00:05:13,629 --> 00:05:17,985 - [ Laughs ] Mwah. - Nice to see you. 158 00:05:18,131 --> 00:05:19,169 - [ Sighs ] - Well? 159 00:05:19,274 --> 00:05:22,089 Get this. They said I have to tell them myself. 160 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,488 Turns out you can't count on grandparents for anything. 161 00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,621 Sure, when you need fudge, they're all over it. 162 00:05:26,716 --> 00:05:29,227 But you ever need something real from them, forget it. 163 00:05:29,354 --> 00:05:30,963 But they did bring fudge, right? 164 00:05:31,078 --> 00:05:32,523 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 165 00:05:33,046 --> 00:05:34,987 Pat: Ohh. 166 00:05:35,248 --> 00:05:38,395 There's my Suzy Q. 167 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,867 Oh! I brought something for you. 168 00:05:40,957 --> 00:05:43,486 Now, I know that you like "Hunger Games," 169 00:05:43,618 --> 00:05:47,539 so here's an article about how it's being shown in Japan. 170 00:05:47,701 --> 00:05:51,146 Oh, now this is about the dangers of sexting. 171 00:05:51,323 --> 00:05:52,532 It's not good, Sue. 172 00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:53,720 Thanks, grandma! 173 00:05:53,805 --> 00:05:56,486 I'm sure I'll really enjoy reading these. 174 00:05:56,711 --> 00:06:00,506 - Are you okay, honey? - She's fine. Right, Sue? Aren't you fine? 175 00:06:00,749 --> 00:06:03,157 Yep! Yep. Super fine. 176 00:06:03,354 --> 00:06:06,505 I'm gonna go to my room now for normal reasons. 177 00:06:07,186 --> 00:06:08,296 What's up with her? 178 00:06:08,383 --> 00:06:10,417 What happened to my sunshiny girl? 179 00:06:10,569 --> 00:06:12,945 Oh, it's nothing. She's just tired. 180 00:06:13,026 --> 00:06:14,314 She gets weird when she's tired. 181 00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,655 Oh, you can't brush this stuff off, Frankie. 182 00:06:16,773 --> 00:06:20,103 A change in mood is the number-one warning sign 183 00:06:20,195 --> 00:06:21,690 for everything. 184 00:06:21,785 --> 00:06:24,494 Parade had a story just the other day. 185 00:06:24,643 --> 00:06:26,096 Here, let me find it. 186 00:06:26,779 --> 00:06:28,882 [ Power whirs ] Skymall. 187 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 188 00:06:37,247 --> 00:06:38,615 Listen, Mike. 189 00:06:38,709 --> 00:06:40,224 I want to tell you something on the QT. 190 00:06:40,363 --> 00:06:43,742 You know that cruise Pat and I are going on at Christmas? 191 00:06:43,867 --> 00:06:45,279 - Mm-hmm. - Not happening. 192 00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:48,617 I gambled all the cruise money away playing online poker. 193 00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:51,901 I lost it all, Mike. She's gonna kill me. 194 00:06:51,983 --> 00:06:54,024 Ohh. You got to be kidding me. 195 00:06:54,151 --> 00:06:55,192 For the first few months, 196 00:06:55,263 --> 00:06:57,437 I didn't even realize I was playing with real money. 197 00:06:57,569 --> 00:06:59,806 And by that time, I was 8 grand in. 198 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,222 And every time I thought about quitting, 199 00:07:01,299 --> 00:07:03,614 this cyber girl comes up with a big rack 200 00:07:03,676 --> 00:07:05,240 wanting me to buy more chips. 201 00:07:05,373 --> 00:07:06,683 You know, this is the kind of thing 202 00:07:06,769 --> 00:07:08,918 you might want to share with a blood relative. 203 00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:10,612 It's bad, Mike. It's bad. 204 00:07:10,693 --> 00:07:12,654 I'm afraid Pat's gonna cut me off in the bedroom. 205 00:07:12,743 --> 00:07:14,440 Oh, geez. I don't want to know this, Tag. 206 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:15,998 It's too late. You're in it now. 207 00:07:16,112 --> 00:07:17,661 Listen. Here's what we're gonna do. 208 00:07:17,808 --> 00:07:20,083 I got to get pat off this cruise thing. 209 00:07:20,209 --> 00:07:22,630 So, during dinner, I'm gonna keep dropping little hints 210 00:07:22,721 --> 00:07:24,388 about the dangers of cruising, 211 00:07:24,523 --> 00:07:26,288 and I want you to back me up. 212 00:07:26,449 --> 00:07:27,788 Frankie: Dinner! 213 00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:31,689 Uh, mom, where's my lime jello salad? 214 00:07:31,855 --> 00:07:34,987 Oh, shoot, Brick. I forgot. 215 00:07:35,086 --> 00:07:38,158 Really, mom? 10 years, and you still couldn't pull it off? 216 00:07:38,338 --> 00:07:41,534 Wow. Lucky I know you very well. 217 00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:42,812 Ta-da! 218 00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,245 We didn't have any fresh-fruit cocktail, 219 00:07:44,315 --> 00:07:46,033 so I substituted skittles. 220 00:07:46,141 --> 00:07:47,294 Wow, Brick. 221 00:07:47,394 --> 00:07:48,883 You know, you're supposed to let it refrigerate 222 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,080 for four hours. 223 00:07:50,151 --> 00:07:50,973 Oh, yeah? 224 00:07:51,042 --> 00:07:52,179 Well, maybe we could do a taste test 225 00:07:52,283 --> 00:07:53,765 against the one you made. 226 00:07:54,319 --> 00:07:56,134 Okay, everybody. 227 00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,632 Let's say grace, and then we can all dig in. 228 00:07:58,762 --> 00:08:00,509 [ Doorbell rings ] 229 00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,113 Who's that? 230 00:08:06,432 --> 00:08:09,873 Dr. Goodwin. Hey. 231 00:08:09,979 --> 00:08:12,788 Happy turkey day! Gobble! Gobble! Gobble! 232 00:08:12,894 --> 00:08:14,121 Uh, I couldn't remember whether you wanted me 233 00:08:14,215 --> 00:08:16,055 to bring something when you invited me. 234 00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:16,875 That's funny, 235 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:18,857 'cause I couldn't remember inviting him. 236 00:08:19,003 --> 00:08:20,854 Oh, am I late? 237 00:08:20,943 --> 00:08:24,734 No, we were just waiting for you so we could get started. 238 00:08:24,812 --> 00:08:25,892 We haven't started yet. 239 00:08:26,035 --> 00:08:26,927 [ Chuckles nervously ] 240 00:08:29,629 --> 00:08:31,513 Stop it. Stop eating right now. 241 00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:34,359 So, this is my husband, Mike, 242 00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:35,986 my parents, Tag and Pat, 243 00:08:36,094 --> 00:08:38,241 and my kids, Axl, Sue, and Brick. 244 00:08:38,331 --> 00:08:40,041 This is Dr. Goodwin, my boss. 245 00:08:40,125 --> 00:08:42,207 - Oh. Hi, hi. - Oh. Hi. 246 00:08:42,305 --> 00:08:43,168 Hi, there, everyone. 247 00:08:43,249 --> 00:08:44,689 Frankie's told me so much about you. 248 00:08:44,782 --> 00:08:46,515 I-I feel like I know you all. 249 00:08:46,677 --> 00:08:47,856 Except for you two. 250 00:08:47,929 --> 00:08:49,664 You two are complete strangers. 251 00:08:49,771 --> 00:08:51,969 - Hmm. - You know, I think I'm gonna change 252 00:08:52,089 --> 00:08:53,702 where I was gonna have you sit. 253 00:08:53,787 --> 00:08:55,167 Mike, can you help me for a second? 254 00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,486 - What's he doing here? - I don't know. 255 00:09:00,892 --> 00:09:01,721 [ Sighs ] 256 00:09:01,895 --> 00:09:02,707 I hate to say it, 257 00:09:02,798 --> 00:09:05,328 but I'm not even looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. 258 00:09:05,416 --> 00:09:06,933 My family just fights all the time. 259 00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:09,049 [ Scoffs ] You should come to my house for Thanksgiving. 260 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,274 Okay, I will. 261 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,702 [ Chuckling ] Yeah. See you there. 262 00:09:13,301 --> 00:09:15,316 Apparently, he doesn't get sarcasm. 263 00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,711 Slide down, Axl. 264 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,563 Okay. Finally, we're all here. 265 00:09:23,670 --> 00:09:25,499 So, everybody, let's dig in 266 00:09:25,570 --> 00:09:27,046 before everything gets cold. 267 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,800 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. 268 00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:35,799 Oops. Forgot one thing. 269 00:09:35,891 --> 00:09:37,286 I'll be right back. 270 00:09:43,177 --> 00:09:44,439 I'd just like to say that this year, 271 00:09:44,531 --> 00:09:47,241 I'm thankful someone remembered to make a lime jello salad, 272 00:09:47,361 --> 00:09:48,940 and that person was me. 273 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,568 You know there's a bottle cap in there, right? 274 00:09:50,684 --> 00:09:51,792 Yep. 275 00:09:51,875 --> 00:09:54,021 Okay. Here we go. 276 00:09:54,222 --> 00:09:56,540 You know, I'm just thankful that I'm not on a cruise ship 277 00:09:56,669 --> 00:09:58,945 that's been boarded by pirates. [Chuckling] 278 00:09:59,021 --> 00:10:00,139 Right, Mike? 279 00:10:00,311 --> 00:10:02,152 You want to expand on that? 280 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,340 Nope. [ Doorbell rings ] 281 00:10:05,186 --> 00:10:06,285 [ Knocking on door ] 282 00:10:08,387 --> 00:10:10,237 Happy Thanksgiving! 283 00:10:10,561 --> 00:10:11,798 For the hostess. 284 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:14,647 Marlene, hi. Wow. 285 00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:17,251 Um, Mike said Rusty wasn't coming. 286 00:10:17,372 --> 00:10:19,205 Mike, didn't you say your brother wasn't coming? 287 00:10:19,281 --> 00:10:20,548 Oh, he isn't. He isn't. 288 00:10:20,638 --> 00:10:22,226 But I wasn't gonna let that keep us away. 289 00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:24,438 - Family's family. [ Chuckles ] - Yeah. 290 00:10:24,512 --> 00:10:26,735 You remember my kids from previous relationships. 291 00:10:26,878 --> 00:10:29,712 This is Colleen and Louis Vuitton. 292 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:30,900 Hello. 293 00:10:32,790 --> 00:10:35,450 [ Chuckles ] Come on in. 294 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:36,666 - [ Chuckles ] - Gosh, I guess I haven't seen you 295 00:10:36,868 --> 00:10:38,474 since the wedding. [ Chuckles ] 296 00:10:38,566 --> 00:10:39,367 Hey, everybody, 297 00:10:39,447 --> 00:10:41,774 you remember Mike's brother's wife, Marlene, 298 00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:45,387 and her children from previous relationships. 299 00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:48,299 - Hey. - You know our family, and this is my boss, Dr. Goodwin. 300 00:10:48,404 --> 00:10:49,215 Oh. 301 00:10:49,294 --> 00:10:51,216 Hey, kids, can you, um, help me out? 302 00:10:52,190 --> 00:10:54,169 [ Chuckles ] 303 00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:58,530 Oh. I just remembered something I want to add to this. 304 00:11:07,445 --> 00:11:08,709 I'm not comfortable with all these people here 305 00:11:08,810 --> 00:11:10,060 eyeing my jello salad. 306 00:11:10,175 --> 00:11:11,262 I only made enough for me. 307 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,940 Are you kidding me? This is awesome. 308 00:11:13,022 --> 00:11:14,769 This is the perfect way for me to break my news. 309 00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:15,882 Mom and dad are not gonna yell at me 310 00:11:15,970 --> 00:11:18,087 in front of all these people, especially not her boss. 311 00:11:18,187 --> 00:11:19,375 And by the time they get me alone, 312 00:11:19,491 --> 00:11:22,220 they'll only be able to muster up like 10% of the rage. 313 00:11:22,302 --> 00:11:23,174 Mm. 314 00:11:28,659 --> 00:11:31,133 Okay, here we are. Potatoes and stuffing. 315 00:11:31,235 --> 00:11:33,010 Take some and pass it along. 316 00:11:33,104 --> 00:11:35,502 I'm fine with my jello. [ Slurps ] 317 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:38,847 Well, just so nice to see everyone, 318 00:11:38,918 --> 00:11:41,322 since we won't be here for Christmas. 319 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,465 I don't know if Frankie told you, 320 00:11:42,561 --> 00:11:44,953 but we're going on a cruise. 321 00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,165 [ Chuckling ] You know, people go missing 322 00:11:46,255 --> 00:11:47,934 on cruises all-- all the time. 323 00:11:48,004 --> 00:11:49,267 What was that story you were telling me, Mike, 324 00:11:49,353 --> 00:11:51,797 about the honeymoon couple went missing on a cruise 325 00:11:51,913 --> 00:11:54,649 and all-- all they found was a flip-flop? 326 00:11:54,764 --> 00:11:56,717 - I-I don't know. - Really? 327 00:11:56,838 --> 00:11:59,811 'Cause you told me about it, so I think you do know. 328 00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:02,970 Oh, I took a dental cruise last year to the Bahamas. 329 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:05,238 It was magical. 330 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,553 The culture, the language. 331 00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:10,930 I even learned a traditional Caribbean dance-- 332 00:12:11,075 --> 00:12:12,316 the Bamboula. 333 00:12:12,419 --> 00:12:13,895 Da, da-da, da-da-da 334 00:12:14,004 --> 00:12:15,425 [ Laughter ] 335 00:12:17,043 --> 00:12:19,912 This guy's killing me. Who invited the happy cruiser? 336 00:12:19,984 --> 00:12:21,341 Nobody, actually. 337 00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:23,148 Dysentery! 338 00:12:23,255 --> 00:12:24,752 - [ Gags ] - Rivers of crap. It happens. 339 00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:27,657 Engines fail in the middle of the ocean all the time. 340 00:12:27,791 --> 00:12:30,170 I mean, they're floating graveyards. 341 00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:31,941 - What... Marlene: - So, you're a dentist? 342 00:12:32,106 --> 00:12:34,473 - Mm. - That must be your hatchback out front. 343 00:12:34,561 --> 00:12:36,885 I bet it has a lot of leg room. 344 00:12:38,078 --> 00:12:40,248 Mike, a word. 345 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:42,178 [ Sighs ] 346 00:12:43,812 --> 00:12:46,272 Did you need a napkin, ma'am? 'Cause that's mine. 347 00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:47,568 Oh. 348 00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:49,109 Yeah. 349 00:12:51,421 --> 00:12:52,406 Tag: What gives, Mike? 350 00:12:52,496 --> 00:12:53,896 You're leaving me hanging out there. 351 00:12:54,019 --> 00:12:56,294 I'm throwing you softballs, and you're whiffing it. 352 00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,693 Look, Tag, I don't really want to-- 353 00:12:57,783 --> 00:12:59,523 Okay, here's the deal. New jag. 354 00:12:59,662 --> 00:13:02,179 I'm gonna tell them that you borrowed $10,000 from me 355 00:13:02,301 --> 00:13:03,260 and can't pay it back, 356 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,096 and you're too embarrassed to admit it. 357 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,264 I'm not gonna say that. 358 00:13:06,347 --> 00:13:07,750 Then you shouldn't have borrowed the money. 359 00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:08,738 What? 360 00:13:08,836 --> 00:13:10,028 I'm just trying to believe my own lie 361 00:13:10,104 --> 00:13:11,350 so I can sell it. 362 00:13:11,535 --> 00:13:13,907 Marlene: You know, people always hate dentists, 363 00:13:14,012 --> 00:13:15,573 - but I love them. - [ Slurping ] 364 00:13:15,677 --> 00:13:18,148 Yeah, their skilled hands and white coats 365 00:13:18,241 --> 00:13:19,954 and dirty-position chairs. 366 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:22,163 Well, we don't really call it that. 367 00:13:22,994 --> 00:13:25,903 Maybe I can come and lie on yours one day. 368 00:13:26,625 --> 00:13:28,997 I'm confused. Isn't she married to Uncle Rusty? 369 00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,199 Drink your jello, Brick. 370 00:13:30,283 --> 00:13:32,603 Oh, I will. [ Slurps ] 371 00:13:35,141 --> 00:13:36,704 And what do you do? 372 00:13:37,203 --> 00:13:38,635 Everything. 373 00:13:43,819 --> 00:13:44,750 This is it, Brick. 374 00:13:44,795 --> 00:13:46,581 This is my moment. [ Clears throat ] 375 00:13:47,379 --> 00:13:48,384 Excuse me. 376 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,751 I'd just like to say how thankful I am 377 00:13:50,851 --> 00:13:52,580 to be surrounded by so many loved ones, 378 00:13:52,764 --> 00:13:55,312 because when bad news has to be delivered, 379 00:13:55,473 --> 00:13:58,673 you need your family and friends and bosses 380 00:13:58,775 --> 00:14:00,308 to not overreact to-- 381 00:14:00,394 --> 00:14:02,413 I lost all our money. There's no cruise. 382 00:14:02,602 --> 00:14:03,388 What?! 383 00:14:03,472 --> 00:14:05,094 I lost it all playing online poker. 384 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,975 Oh, you dumb son of a-- 385 00:14:07,056 --> 00:14:07,942 Dad! 386 00:14:08,059 --> 00:14:09,767 Mike told me to lie, but I had to come clean. 387 00:14:09,897 --> 00:14:12,371 - Mike! - Why are you lying? - What?! 388 00:14:12,456 --> 00:14:14,565 You can't even order your own vitamins on Amazon, 389 00:14:14,656 --> 00:14:15,774 but you gamble... 390 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:17,145 I could have sworn she was married to Uncle Rusty, 391 00:14:17,216 --> 00:14:18,768 because I remember the wedding in our backyard. 392 00:14:18,846 --> 00:14:20,797 - Dad gave a speech. - She kept batting her eyes at me. 393 00:14:20,884 --> 00:14:24,603 [ Indistinct shouting ] 394 00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,012 Please! 395 00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:27,418 Let's not overreact here. 396 00:14:27,885 --> 00:14:29,803 Look. Everyone makes mistakes. 397 00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:31,672 The important thing is forgiveness. 398 00:14:31,774 --> 00:14:34,575 And in that spirit, mom and dad, I'd like to tell you 399 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:37,426 in front of all your family and bosses that-- 400 00:14:37,499 --> 00:14:39,409 You know what? I put this in the window 401 00:14:39,532 --> 00:14:42,015 and you're not shopping? What gives, huh? 402 00:14:42,119 --> 00:14:43,147 Is it because I'm divorced? 403 00:14:43,263 --> 00:14:45,136 - What? - You and Rusty are divorced? 404 00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:46,491 He didn't tell you? 405 00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:48,595 He's not a good communicator. 406 00:14:49,196 --> 00:14:50,465 That was one of our issues. 407 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:51,766 I mean, not the biggest one. 408 00:14:51,898 --> 00:14:53,852 The biggest one was that I slept with his best friend, 409 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,412 but certainly top three. 410 00:14:55,502 --> 00:14:57,967 This is so good. 411 00:15:09,829 --> 00:15:11,312 So, Thanksgiving was winding down. 412 00:15:11,412 --> 00:15:14,018 And for some people, it wasn't ending fast enough. 413 00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,829 Ah, well, this was so much fun. I should get going. 414 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,742 Oh, no, no, no. Don't go. We haven't even had dessert yet. 415 00:15:19,824 --> 00:15:21,616 - Please let me leave. - We're leaving, too. 416 00:15:21,727 --> 00:15:22,941 No, wait. You can't go. 417 00:15:23,043 --> 00:15:23,972 I have something I need to say, 418 00:15:24,066 --> 00:15:25,395 and I want to say it in front of all of you. 419 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,791 Now, I won't go into a big intro 420 00:15:26,899 --> 00:15:28,223 because I keep getting interrupted-- 421 00:15:28,349 --> 00:15:30,118 - Hey, look. Is that mom? - [ Groans ] 422 00:15:30,223 --> 00:15:31,741 That is you. 423 00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:33,147 Newscaster: Well, with the holidays upon us, 424 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:36,789 it seems every year, we have to report a story like this. 425 00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:37,709 Man: No, I agree. 426 00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,582 [ Chuckles ] Hey. That picture's taken out of context. 427 00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,342 You know what? Let's turn it off. 428 00:15:41,421 --> 00:15:42,523 Isn't the Thanksgiving parade on? 429 00:15:42,658 --> 00:15:45,991 A warning-- some of these images may be disturbing. 430 00:15:46,108 --> 00:15:48,897 [ Clattering ] 431 00:15:49,576 --> 00:15:50,985 [ Indistinct shouting ] 432 00:15:51,638 --> 00:15:54,395 [ Screaming ] 433 00:15:59,443 --> 00:16:00,233 Frankie: Here, take it! 434 00:16:00,306 --> 00:16:01,055 What is it? 435 00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:03,233 I don't know, but it's 60% off! 436 00:16:03,323 --> 00:16:06,670 What is happening?! 437 00:16:06,769 --> 00:16:09,487 I was just trying to get over to the discount calendars, 438 00:16:09,604 --> 00:16:13,165 and this little, bitty thing just came over and ran me down. 439 00:16:13,248 --> 00:16:15,579 I'm thankful I wasn't hurt. 440 00:16:15,698 --> 00:16:16,816 Newscaster: Yes, it appears all of us 441 00:16:16,903 --> 00:16:18,592 who were not at the Pioneer Galaxy Mall last-- 442 00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:20,858 That wasn't all! 443 00:16:20,943 --> 00:16:22,952 You guys didn't see the whole thing. 444 00:16:23,064 --> 00:16:25,369 [ Scoffs ] Mom kept throwing me things, 445 00:16:25,465 --> 00:16:26,802 and she kept saying, "Put it in the cart! 446 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,075 Put it in the cart! Put it in the cart!" 447 00:16:28,168 --> 00:16:30,770 And everyone went nuts and started grabbing things. 448 00:16:30,874 --> 00:16:32,768 I had to fling myself on the cart to stop them. 449 00:16:32,878 --> 00:16:35,458 So, I hope you enjoy your iTouch, Brick. 450 00:16:37,554 --> 00:16:39,530 [ Sighs ] Fine. 451 00:16:39,644 --> 00:16:42,292 You guys judge me with your judge-y little eyes. 452 00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:43,161 Go ahead. 453 00:16:43,247 --> 00:16:44,944 Everybody wants great Christmas presents 454 00:16:45,044 --> 00:16:46,304 for low, low prices, 455 00:16:46,383 --> 00:16:49,098 but nobody wants to know how it gets done. 456 00:16:49,211 --> 00:16:50,701 Nobody wants to get their hands dirty. 457 00:16:50,781 --> 00:16:53,580 Well, I did it. I did what I had to do. 458 00:16:53,682 --> 00:16:57,259 That's what it takes to pull off Christmas with no money. 459 00:16:57,737 --> 00:16:59,017 And it's not pretty. 460 00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:03,566 I had to drop three classes. 461 00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:13,907 You had to drop three classes? 462 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,473 - You were only taking four! - Hey, look. 463 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,107 I think we should all keep this in perspective. 464 00:17:18,181 --> 00:17:19,961 You know, weigh it up against some crimes 465 00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:22,044 other people in this family might have done. 466 00:17:22,271 --> 00:17:24,357 Oh, no. We're not talking about me anymore. 467 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:27,671 We're talking about you. How could this happen? 468 00:17:27,741 --> 00:17:29,123 I had to drop them. 469 00:17:29,194 --> 00:17:30,517 My professors were gonna fail me. 470 00:17:30,662 --> 00:17:32,783 I mean, I'm crushing my Music-Appreciation class. 471 00:17:32,909 --> 00:17:33,976 Getting a C. 472 00:17:34,070 --> 00:17:35,708 And I'm only showing up half the time. 473 00:17:41,163 --> 00:17:42,331 Well... 474 00:17:42,422 --> 00:17:43,904 it's your life. 475 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,388 Announcer: And they are gonna call holding... 476 00:17:50,542 --> 00:17:52,229 Oh, God. 477 00:17:52,466 --> 00:17:55,981 I really shouldn't have eaten those mashed potatoes. 478 00:17:56,061 --> 00:17:58,294 You sure it wasn't that pan of pus you sucked down? 479 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,185 What's your problem? Your plan worked. 480 00:18:01,259 --> 00:18:04,342 You got away with it. Dad barely reacted. 481 00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:07,888 No. No way. Something bad's coming. 482 00:18:07,968 --> 00:18:08,817 Dad's way too calm. 483 00:18:08,899 --> 00:18:10,577 It's weird. He's got to be furious with me. 484 00:18:11,342 --> 00:18:12,776 You guys want to play some football? 485 00:18:12,864 --> 00:18:15,997 Uh... sure. 486 00:18:18,345 --> 00:18:19,694 Axl, you're my receiver. 487 00:18:19,753 --> 00:18:21,787 Brick, you keep laying there 488 00:18:21,877 --> 00:18:23,299 and finish what you started. 489 00:18:23,396 --> 00:18:24,807 [ Strained ] Okay. 490 00:18:24,879 --> 00:18:26,374 Okay. Great. 491 00:18:26,447 --> 00:18:29,566 So, it's family versus family. 492 00:18:29,719 --> 00:18:31,582 All right, Goodwins, let's do this. 493 00:18:31,755 --> 00:18:33,903 - Dads cover the dads. Axl: - Ready? 494 00:18:33,992 --> 00:18:35,372 [ Chuckles ] Go on. Go on. 495 00:18:35,464 --> 00:18:37,924 Okay. Here we go. 47. 22. 496 00:18:38,008 --> 00:18:39,393 Hut! Hut! Hike! 497 00:18:40,223 --> 00:18:41,254 Nice snap, Sue. 498 00:18:42,772 --> 00:18:43,996 Oh! 499 00:18:44,077 --> 00:18:45,079 That's okay. 500 00:18:45,539 --> 00:18:46,946 [ Grunts ] 501 00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:48,748 Wow, that girl can hit. 502 00:18:48,847 --> 00:18:50,273 I don't even have the ball. 503 00:18:50,559 --> 00:18:51,816 And you're on my team! 504 00:18:51,928 --> 00:18:53,253 Oh, sorry. 505 00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:57,369 You know, Frankie. 506 00:18:57,513 --> 00:18:59,586 You causing that mall stampede 507 00:18:59,670 --> 00:19:01,356 made me pissing away the cruise money 508 00:19:01,437 --> 00:19:03,254 look not so bad. [ Chuckles ] 509 00:19:03,328 --> 00:19:04,948 Okay, I think the term "Stampede" 510 00:19:05,088 --> 00:19:06,533 is a little inaccurate. 511 00:19:06,621 --> 00:19:09,858 I would call it a... group hurry. 512 00:19:09,987 --> 00:19:10,886 Axl: Ready? Break. 513 00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:14,531 The point is everyone makes mistakes. 514 00:19:15,361 --> 00:19:16,929 I think now is a good time to tell you 515 00:19:17,007 --> 00:19:19,442 that I joined Weight Watchers in 1996, 516 00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:22,814 and I forgot to cancel my monthly membership. 517 00:19:23,305 --> 00:19:24,221 Hmm. 518 00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:26,706 Mike: Down, set. 519 00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:27,892 Hut! Hike! 520 00:19:31,515 --> 00:19:34,760 Mm. That's okay, Axl. You tried. 521 00:19:34,986 --> 00:19:36,651 What? No, it's not. 522 00:19:36,855 --> 00:19:38,733 It's not all right. What's the matter with you? 523 00:19:38,813 --> 00:19:40,019 Why aren't you yelling at me? 524 00:19:40,761 --> 00:19:41,878 Why would I yell at you? 525 00:19:41,958 --> 00:19:44,121 Uh, 'cause I had to drop three classes. 526 00:19:44,243 --> 00:19:45,444 It's your life, Axl. 527 00:19:45,514 --> 00:19:47,336 [ Groans ] Stop saying that. 528 00:19:47,636 --> 00:19:48,862 What do you want me to say? 529 00:19:49,081 --> 00:19:50,357 That you should stop goofing around in college 530 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,865 and start taking it more seriously? 531 00:19:51,964 --> 00:19:53,252 Yeah. 532 00:19:53,330 --> 00:19:54,286 That you should spend more time studying 533 00:19:54,382 --> 00:19:55,451 and less time partying? 534 00:19:55,568 --> 00:19:56,362 Duh. 535 00:19:56,448 --> 00:19:58,138 That you should realize the decisions you make now 536 00:19:58,213 --> 00:19:59,633 are gonna determine the rest of your life, 537 00:19:59,744 --> 00:20:01,066 so you better think them through? 538 00:20:01,196 --> 00:20:03,248 Uh, yeah. I think so, yeah. 539 00:20:03,384 --> 00:20:06,195 I'm not gonna say that. You're not ours anymore. 540 00:20:06,352 --> 00:20:09,090 It's your life now. It's up to you how it all goes. 541 00:20:09,245 --> 00:20:11,223 Well, thanks for the heads-up. 542 00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:13,704 That would have been great to know before I screwed it up. 543 00:20:13,778 --> 00:20:15,162 When were you planning on telling me? 544 00:20:15,235 --> 00:20:17,592 Hey, you want to be an adult? Be an adult. 545 00:20:17,677 --> 00:20:18,790 Fine. 546 00:20:18,912 --> 00:20:21,213 I'll meet with my adviser as soon as I get back to school 547 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,724 and figure out how I can make up these credits. 548 00:20:22,794 --> 00:20:24,197 Is that what you want? 549 00:20:24,499 --> 00:20:25,978 It doesn't matter what I want. 550 00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:27,324 It's what you want. 551 00:20:27,406 --> 00:20:29,165 [ Groans ] What game are you playing? 552 00:20:29,331 --> 00:20:31,116 There's no game, Axl. 553 00:20:31,237 --> 00:20:33,873 Uh, is this part of the game, you saying there's no game? 554 00:20:34,462 --> 00:20:36,848 Come on in. Pie's ready. 555 00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:48,715 Okay, next semester, I am loading up on credits, 556 00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,290 and I'm not doing anything fun. 557 00:20:50,391 --> 00:20:52,354 Fun's over. No joining a frat. 558 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,144 No Thirsty Thursdays. No nothing. 559 00:20:54,256 --> 00:20:55,761 And I'm coming home every weekend to study. 560 00:20:55,899 --> 00:20:57,688 And I'm not giving myself any pie. 561 00:20:57,782 --> 00:20:59,016 I don't deserve pie. 562 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,057 Okay, well, maybe one small piece, 563 00:21:01,141 --> 00:21:02,725 but I will not use whipped cream. 564 00:21:07,398 --> 00:21:08,541 Frankie: Yeah, in our house, 565 00:21:08,646 --> 00:21:10,533 Thanksgiving means being thankful 566 00:21:10,658 --> 00:21:12,688 that no matter what stupid thing you did, 567 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:13,761 it's a pretty safe bet 568 00:21:13,850 --> 00:21:15,880 that someone did something stupider than you. 569 00:21:16,263 --> 00:21:18,316 Again, I am so sorry about everything. 570 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,350 I know it was a pretty screwy Thanksgiving. 571 00:21:20,442 --> 00:21:21,408 [ Chuckles ] 572 00:21:21,664 --> 00:21:23,403 So, I guess I'll see you at Christmas, huh? 573 00:21:23,572 --> 00:21:25,836 - Okay, I'll be here. - Oh, yeah. I know you will. 574 00:21:25,959 --> 00:21:27,914 [ Chuckles ] See you on the 25th. 575 00:21:27,991 --> 00:21:29,313 [ Laughs ] 576 00:21:39,012 --> 00:21:44,091 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 577 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,091 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 578 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:52,691 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0